We could always go with the traditional marriage vows: for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better for worse…but, these seemed a bit too vague for our tastes.We decided that we wanted to make more specific, behavioural promises: things we can strive to do for each other that would help us to not only remain together, but also happy and fulfilled in our marriage. Marriage may simply be about celebrating a milestone: recognizing the relationship that a couple has built together and the love that they share for each other.But weddings are also very future-oriented, as the couple publicly promises to maintain their relationship for life. So I took THE VOWS from the movie and saved the first half of each line, and left the second part blank for my husband and I to fill in. Both of us were silly, yet sentimental, and we laughed and aww-ed as we shared OUR VOWS with each other. Get creative and have fun sharing them with each other. .), and by the time you are ready to sit down and enjoy your movie, dinner is done! We both lied to each other a lot, our drinking habits got out of control, and he even cheated on me. This was for my own good; I had a list of goals for my career my personal life that I wanted to achieve.The smallest argument between us would end in fits of rage. The decision to move toward my own personal goals—and away from whatever would have me—came after a few months of going on a series of let-down job interviews and lackluster dates. For me, getting rid of the distractions of casual dating and hooking up was the only way to meet both these ends. By the time I reached 31, I wanted to have established myself professionally, financially, and emotionally.
If these promises are the essence of what it means to be married, then whatdo we want to promise each other?
Conveniently, I had decades of research at my fingertips to help us figure out what it really means to be a good spouse. In other words—and this may sound completely over-the-top nerdy to some—we decided to write some research-based vows.
Below are the ten promises that we’ve decided to make to each other.
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